Boundaries are not a 4 letter word!

Boundaries.

How do you feel when you hear that word? What emotions does it bring up?

I haven’t met many women who don’t struggle to hold their boundaries. Even the word alone can bring up emotion: frustration, shame, resentment.

As a recovering nice girl people pleaser I know that I find it hard to hold my boundaries - I work longer hours than my body and being tell me is right for me, I allow other people’s needs to be more important than my own, I go against what my Soul is telling me in order to keep the peace.

Walking the Spiral Path, doing the work to strengthen our personal boundaries at our volunteer training ‘Bite the Apple’.

Walking the Spiral Path, doing the work to strengthen our personal boundaries at our volunteer training ‘Bite the Apple’.

This is what I know: as women, we are educated out of holding our boundaries. Being nice, being good, being well behaved and not rocking the boat is far more important. We are taught that only rude or aggressive people hold boundaries.

And yet, having and strongly holding our own boundaries is actually a ginormous act of self love. Holding boundaries is a message to the world that our needs matter, that WE matter.

Holding boundaries doesn’t need to be a loud, aggressive, violent action. Quietness and firmness has even more power than yelling or frustration, especially when it is backed by knowing that how we use our time and energy is up to us and us alone. That we have the right to make choices around the people that we interact with and the situations that we find ourselves in.

And yes, there are going to be many people who don’t like it when you hold your boundaries. In fact, they may very well be the people that it is most important to hold yours with!

So let’s all practice this together and support each other with our boundaries. When you check in with yourself, what boundary does it feel like is the most important one to hold right now in your life? Can you articulate what it looks like when you hold it firmly with the knowledge that your needs matter?

What is one small boundary that you can state and hold today? Share it in the comments and let’s all practice this together!